How to Respond to People Who Make Excuses

Jan 14 / Language of Leadership
Picture this: you approach an employee, peer, or boss to check on a task, and instead of an update, you get one of these familiar responses:

  • "I didn’t get to it yet."
  • "I need more time."
  • "It’s not a big deal; just a one-off."
  • "I’m on it now; thanks for the reminder."

It’s frustrating, right? These moments can feel like roadblocks to progress, leaving you wondering why you bothered addressing the issue in the first place. In fact, many of us hesitate to bring up concerns at all because we anticipate excuses and don’t have the time or energy to deal with them.

Here’s the thing: we’ve all lived through excuses. We’ve even made plenty of our own—at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Excuses are universal. But understanding people who make excuses, why they do so, and how to navigate these tricky situations is a critical leadership skill. This article will help you do just that.

Understanding People Who Make Excuses

Let’s start by defining what an excuse is. An excuse is a way to hijack the narrative and avoid a difficult conversation. It’s a tactic people use to deflect accountability when they feel uncomfortable or unprepared to address an issue.

Everyone makes excuses. Even the most professional person at work might come home and excuse their way out of cooking dinner, going to the gym, or doing chores. Again, excuses are universal. But they often stem from discomfort—a litmus test signaling that someone doesn’t want to have a particular conversation. Recognizing this discomfort is essential for moving forward.

Excuses are often about distraction. Instead of addressing the real issue, the individual redirects the focus. For leaders, it’s crucial to recognize this moment and redirect the conversation productively. When you hear an excuse, think of it as an indicator: "This person is uncomfortable or avoiding accountability."
Why people make excuses

Excuses vs Reasons: Understanding the Difference

How can you tell the difference between an excuse and a legitimate reason? It’s all about action.

A reason explains why something happened and includes what the person plans to do to fix it. For example:

  • "I’m too tired to do the dishes tonight, but I’ll get to them first thing in the morning."
  • "This person didn’t get back to me, but I’ll follow up and ensure it gets done."

An excuse, on the other hand, is designed to end the conversation without resolution. For instance:

  • "I was busy; I didn’t have enough time."
  • "That person didn’t get back to me."

People often make excuses because they’ve been conditioned to believe they’re magic words that will make the conversation stop. This conditioning can stem from years of getting away with it: "If I say this, I’ll get more time, or the focus will shift elsewhere." Distinguishing between a reason and an excuse is critical for keeping discussions focused on solutions and accountability.

When someone gives a reason, they’re typically taking responsibility and proposing an action. Excuses lack this forward motion. As a leader, it’s your job to spot this difference and help steer the conversation toward actionable outcomes.

Why People Make Excuses

Excuses often stem from psychological discomfort. People feel uneasy when they’re confronted with their own failures, leading to stress responses like:

  • Sweaty palms
  • Flushed skin
  • Fidgeting
  • Defensiveness
  • Over-sensitivity

This discomfort comes from the pressure of accountability. Excuses become a way to escape this pressure—a "crucible moment" where the individual feels cornered and looks for an exit.

A key driver behind this behavior is self-preservation. When people feel their competence or value is being questioned, they may use excuses to protect their self-image. Research highlights that individuals often shift blame to external factors to avoid feelings of guilt or shame and maintain their self-esteem. This psychological defense mechanism helps people manage discomfort in the moment but ultimately hinders growth.

Over time, excuses often become a habit. People are conditioned to rely on them because they work. Think of it as a learned behavior: if making excuses repeatedly gets someone out of trouble, they’ll keep doing it. Recognizing this pattern is vital for leaders who want to break the cycle and encourage accountability instead.

Excuses are also a way to protect oneself from judgment. People don’t want to admit they’ve fallen short, so they create a narrative that deflects attention. Understanding these underlying drivers helps leaders approach the situation with empathy while steering the conversation back to solutions.

4 Types of Excuses and How to Address Them

Let’s break down the most common excuses and how you can respond:

1. “I Didn’t Know / Nobody Told Me”

  • What it looks like: “I didn’t realize this was due.”
  • Why it’s frustrating: You know they were informed—whether it was in a meeting, an email, or an SOP.
  • Response: "Now that you know, what do you need to do to ensure this doesn’t happen again?"

Avoid arguing over whether they should have known. Focus on what they can do to ensure they’re informed moving forward.

2. “I’ll Fix It Right Away, Thanks!”

  • What it looks like: “I’m on it now!”
  • Why it’s sneaky: It feels like resolution but avoids accountability.
  • Response: Ask open-ended questions to ensure follow-through. For example: "What do you need to do differently this time?" or "Who do you need to meet with to ensure it happens?"

Pay attention to the person’s track record. If they’re typically reliable, this might not be an excuse. If they frequently drop the ball, dig deeper.

3. “That’s Not Normal / This is Special”

  • What it looks like: “This was such a rare situation; it’s not worth discussing.”
  • Why it’s problematic: It minimizes the issue and avoids lessons learned.
  • Response: Provide data to challenge the claim. For example: "We dealt with this three times last month; how should we plan for it?"

Some work environments are inherently unpredictable. If everything is an anomaly, then everything is worth addressing.

4. “Not My Fault”

  • What it looks like: “Bob didn’t send the email I needed.”
  • Why it’s common: People deflect responsibility to external factors.
  • Response: Highlight shared responsibility: "There are times when it’s not your fault, but it’s still your responsibility. What do you need to do to ensure it’s resolved?"

Frame accountability as a gracious off-ramp. For example: "What could you do differently next time to ensure you’re not waiting on someone else?"

How to Handle Employee Excuses in the Workplace: Key Strategies 

When dealing with excuses, it’s important to:

  • Stay focused: Don’t let the excuse derail you. Keep the conversation on track.
  • Use empathetic language: Acknowledge their discomfort but steer toward accountability.
  • Pivot discussions: Keep the focus on solutions and actions.

For example, if someone says, “I need more time,” you can respond with: “What steps will you take to ensure it’s completed by the revised deadline?”

Recognize patterns of repeated excuses and address broader behaviors when necessary. For habitual excuse-makers, digging into their conditioning and setting clear expectations can help break the cycle. Use this moment to also align on future accountability steps, ensuring similar challenges are addressed before they escalate into patterns.
excuses vs reasons

How to Manage an Employee Who Always Makes Excuses

Managing habitual excuse-makers requires preparation and consistency. Here’s how:

  1. Recognize patterns: Most managers know their biggest excuse-makers and their go-to lines.
  2. Anticipate excuses: Practice your response in advance. For example: “It’s still your responsibility to procure that from Bob.”
  3. Encourage proactive accountability: Create a safe environment for employees to share challenges before deadlines. Normalize these conversations so they’re less likely to rely on excuses.
  4. Challenge excuses with logic: Excuses often collapse under scrutiny. Being prepared helps you maintain control of the conversation.
  5. Coach toward solutions: When patterns emerge, use them as coaching opportunities. Ask questions like: "What steps can you take next time to avoid this outcome?" or "How can we ensure this doesn’t become a recurring issue?"
  6. Follow up: After holding someone accountable, follow through on agreed actions to reinforce the importance of responsibility.

The Role of Accountability in Reducing Excuses

Building a culture of accountability reduces excuses. Here’s how to foster it:

  • Set clear expectations: Be explicit about deadlines, deliverables, and responsibilities. A study found that 85% of survey participants weren’t sure what their organizations were trying to achieve. This lack of clarity often creates confusion and provides fertile ground for excuses, as employees may not fully understand their responsibilities or the organization's goals.
  • Provide measurable goals: Ambiguity often leads to excuses. Clear metrics help everyone stay on track and eliminate misunderstandings.
  • Offer regular feedback: Ongoing discussions about progress create fewer surprises and reduce the need for last-minute excuses.
  • Be consistent: Condition your team to know that excuses won’t work by consistently holding them accountable.

By setting clear objectives and measurable goals, leaders reduce ambiguity and create a workplace where accountability is valued. When people know excuses aren’t an option, they’re more likely to take action or communicate issues proactively. This approach fosters a healthier, more productive workplace dynamic, where progress takes precedence over deflection.

For more insights on building a culture of accountability, consider reading our article on how to hold employees accountable.

Final Thoughts: Turning Excuses into Growth Opportunities

Excuses aren’t just roadblocks—they’re opportunities. They reveal areas for coaching and development. By addressing excuses constructively, you can help employees learn accountability and grow.

Focus on fostering growth, not assigning blame. When employees see accountability as a pathway to success rather than punishment, they’re more likely to take ownership of their actions. Consistent practices and clear expectations will create a workplace culture where excuses are rare, and progress is the norm.

Ready to Transform Excuses?

Take the next step in fostering accountability. Download our free ebook on the 4 big excuses to learn more about how to transform excuses into accountability in your workplace.